my dog has her own bathroom...

That moo is crazy.  I mean seriously crazy.  But perhaps she gets it from Brady and I... because a few days ago we decided that we were too lazy to take her down to the grassy garden area in our high-rise apartment (and by "high-rise" I really mean "second floor")  every time she feels the need to use the restroom...  so we ventured to our local Home Depot and decided to remedy this situation... Brady is more clever than I will ever be, so he's going to be a guest writer on the blog today (he doesn't know this... I illegally stole this from myspace.com/bradywhitemusic... feel free to check out his music and buy some of his songs on iTunes-- we could use some more Trader Joe's money :)  Thank you!)

"Well, as some of you know all too well, I'm not a manly sort of person. I'm a guy and all, but let's put it this way… rarely am I confused with a jock or outdoorsy sort of human. In leu of all of that I get pretty excited when I, in my mind, earn some man points. Well, today I earned a few. Because apparently I'm too lazy to take my dog downstairs to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night or day I decided to build her a little doggy bathroom. I'm extremely aware that none of this thus far earns me more than cellulite, but we're getting to the good part. First of all I went to home depot (that's like 10 points just for being there). Now of course I stick out like a sore thumb and everyone employee I pass obviously thinks I need assistance and forces their help on me. Apparently I look so helpless that a few customers offered their expertise. I snagged a couple of 2x4s and got them custom cut - in half - and then I moved on to the sod. If you're not familiar with what sod is don't feel bad, neither did I. Sod is manly terminology for grass. I'm not sure why you just can't say I want some grass, but you can't. Well, you can but you get laughed at… I got laughed at more than once. Just a word of advice - I think sod is only for those who own a truck. It comes on these 5'x5' wooden crates and is extremely dirty (imagine that, dirt is dirty). In fact, when I saw the sod I kinda panicked and in my mind was like "ABORT, ABORT!" I had already paid for it but had no idea how I would transport it. This part you had to be there for but trust me it was like a circus. I went back in and bought some "contractor strength" black trash bags and proceeded back to my arch nemesis, "sod". Sod comes in like 1 1/2' by 4' sheets and they're heavy! So what I would do (in front of construction workers, gardeners, and manly men and women) is I would lay down a black trash bag on the ground and then put a couple of sod sheets down and then roll it up in the trash bag and then put the whole grass burrito in another black trash bag as to limit the mess in my car. I think I slipped a disc trying to lift that crap into the back of my manly faux SUV. Well, I finally got home to the new apartment and built a little 5'x5' potty for my dog. It took like a million hours and the best part is that she won't even use it. What is wrong with my life?"

I know right now ya'll are thinking... this is made up... no way did they do this-- so I have proof...  Here she is in all her glory in her very own 5x5 lawn :) 

Maybe Disney will hire me to be their lawn-care professional after reading this :)  

dirt under my fingernails, 

P.S. the moving company still isn't here...  :(  oh, and she does use it now :)

P.P.S. Our sweet neighbor (well, I don't know if she's sweet... I don't really know if "she's" a "she" even) has a wicked cough... please pray that she gets better soon :) or that our walls magically become thicker... either one... thanks :)


  1. 1. Brady's post is HYSTERICAL! HYSTERICAL!!!
    2. I love Moo's yard! That, too, is hysterical!
    3. I love you.

  2. What else is going on in CA? Your readers want to know!